Canada Legal .com Articles

Video: How do you manage the Christmas holidays during divorce?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

First of all be practical. The reality of is whether you’re the parent with the kids living with you or you’re the parent who the kids are not living with, recognize that it’s all about the kids. The Holidays are all about the kids and you want to make the Holiday Season a very happy and relazed time. Even when families are together, often times going to family functions, parties and so forth, can be very stressful. It only becomes more stressful when a family is apart because of divorce and the children are pulled in two directions and don’t know what to do because they want to appease both parents. The good news is that the Holiday is more than just one day. It goes on for at least a week, sometimes two weeks. And no child ever complains by having two different Christmas celebrations … (click here for more)

Video: How do you make the children’s Christmas break stress-free?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

… The first thing is, because it’s so early now, plan. Plan ahead. Don’t wait until the last minute. You know when the kids are off school. You know what date are vacation dates. You know what you’re going to be doing, working or not working. And so, communicate with your ex-spouse. Let that person know when you’re off and when you would like to spend time with the kids. Hear what their proposal is first. And then try to work out a plan way in advance. And then share that plan with the kids so they can get excited about it. That one. Two: Be aware of what you do say to the children. And it’s not uncommon for… you might be able to hold things in but when you go and bring the kids over to your family they might roll their eyes when their mother’s or father’s name is mentioned or they might do anything. You got to be the one who ensures that it’s a safe environment for the children and that’s important to … (click here for more)

Video: Do I Have to Go to Court?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

Well, lately there is more of a movement towards not going to court and if you think about it, the reason why people actually go to court is because they have a problem. In Family Law, people go to court because they have a problem with their spouse and they want to have certain rights determined by a judge. So, the question becomes do you have to go to court to get a resolution to your problem. And the answer is yes, there are alternatives and people are progressively using those alternatives to the court system as options. … You do not need to have a judge make a decision for you. Most times people are both mutually motivated to accomplish the same goal which is to get a resolution to their problem in an inexpensive and fairly quick fashion. … Court is the opposite of that. Court is long, and exepensive. … And also unpredictible whereas if people go to these alternatives like mediation or a new concept called collaborative family law or just straight negotiation through lawyers, those options allow someone to actually … (click here for more)

Video: Am I Entitled to Spousal Support?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

What does the law say about alimony, which by the say we call spousal support. So the law says this, if a person was economically dependent upon another spouse during the relationship and then after the relationship ends the person needs that spouse’s contributions in order to live, in order to maintain a standard of living then that person, that provider will have to continue providing. And there are three questions that this brings us to. 1) Is the person entitled to spousal support. 2) If so, for how long, how many months, how many years. 3) And then also, third question is, how much per month. So Rich you ask a very appropriate question. Can a person just sit at home, be ill-productive, and expect to collect spousal support, and the answer is the law says that if a person is entitled to spousal support it should be paid to the extent that it helps the person to become self-sufficient. … (click here for more)

Video: Does Family Mediation Work?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

[host: There is something else you called mediation. That is another option, is it not?] That’s right, and that’s a growing area too. It’s been around for many many years but why it’s growing is because a lot of the mediators who used to do it before are offering to do even something more than just mediating. They’re offering to actually to be the hired judge. So, for many years, when people would split up it would not be uncommon for them to hire a mediator, some one who was either a pyschologist, a social worker, a lawyer, who has historically worked with separating couples and assists them, with the proper training of course, assists them in trying to bridge the gap, make concessions, make compromises and find some solutions to their problems. Some times people because their caught up in the anger and the emotions of the divorce they actually don’t see some of the options that are sitting directly in front of them. And that’s where the mediator adds value and helps people do that. Some mediators do it by shuttle diplomacy where they’ll go and meet with one person privatley and then they’ll … (click here for more)

Video: How Should I Manage My Emotions?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

… One of the jobs that lawyers have, whether they are working in a collaborative situation or in a court situation or just having the client in the office, when we as lawyers have a client in the office, and everybody by the way who’s going through a separation or divorce is anxious, is nervous, is worried about their present and future situation. They’re going through a traumatic event in their lives so it’s very human and natural for them to feel very emotional. Having said that, you don’t want the emotions to cloud their ability to make reasonable and responsible decisions for themselves and for their children. And the job of the lawyer is to be able to identify when someone is so emotional, may be so angry or resentful, that it clouds their ability to do the right thing and make choices. So what we do often times is we learn to discern that from the client and then refer them to proper resources, whether it’s to a therapist or counselling or may be to speak to their family and friends … (click here for more)

Video: At What Age Does a Child Decide the Custody & Access Schedule?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

[Host: How old does a child have to be before they start making their own decisions? Do they have to go to that parent? Do they … you know, those kind of issues.] That’s a very common question. The actual law in Ontario [Canada] says that a child’s views and preferences, if they can be ascertained are a factor to be determined when it comes to custody and access rights. So there is a long list of factors, one of which is the child’s views and preferences. In other words, if a child says, “I want to live with my father.” Is that the final word? Answer, no. It’s a factor. It’s just a consideration. A judge or the family has to look at all of the factors. So then the question becomes, well then what is the age when their wishes are given a lot of weight? Is it ten years old? Fourteen? Sixteen? Well, the answer is the older they are, generally, the more mature they are and the more their … (click here for more)

Video: What is Collaborative Family Law?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

And in the field of Family Law, the concept of collaborative is to be compared to the opposite word which is adversarial. So the legal system is adversarial. Two people come to court with lawyers, one makes one argument, the other makes a contrary argument and you hope that the judge will find the truth somewhere in the middle and make a decision. Whereas in Collaborative Law, you’ve got the two lawyers with the two spouses working together as a team. The lawyers serve more the role of a coach than as an advocate. The idea in collaborative family law is that the clients, the spouses can say what they want, they can speak for themselves. The job of the lawyer in a collaborative family law situation is to give advice, to give some guidance, to coach, but to ultimately keep people focused on the “carrot”, and the “carrot” is a resolution. … (click here for more)

Video: What are the Implications of Sharing Custody?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

From the time that the recent child support guidlines changed, so some time in the late 1990’s, I believe around 1997-98, at that time the law changed so it said that if a person had the children 40% of the time or more they can ask for a reduction of their child support obligation. So what ended up happening with that change in law was a lot of people came out of the woodwork and started demanding more time with the children and they were doing it with a calculator in one hand because they wanted to reach the theshold in order to reduce their child support obligations. And in some cases it was a very appropriate thing to do because the argument was I would rather keep the money in my pocket and use it on the children when they are with me than to give it to the other parent and let them spend it on the children. So there was a lot of cases on the issue of shared custody and … (click here for more)

Video: How Should I Respond to Threats of Legal Action?

By: Steven Benmor, B.Sc., LL.B., Family Lawyer

Jurisdiction: Ontario (Canada)

Yours is a situation where you have to have a resolution to your affairs and just because you think, or she threatens to “take you to the cleaners”, that may simply be an idle threat. That might be a threat to cause you to be a bit more generous than what you would otherwise have to be according to the laws of Ontario [Canada]. I think what you need to do is, rather than feed off of the fear, you simply need to become educated. And the best way to do that is to go into a lawyer’s office and let the lawyer know what the facts of your situation are and get an opinion as to what your obligations are. May be, may be the responsibilities that you have to your ex-wife are nowhere nearly as bad as what you think they are going to be.